Written 2001 with Wayne Bonner. Wayne asked for help writing a story for a class. I decided to do a different take on it and wrote it in 2nd person.

You stood alone, a loser.  In one day you had been rejected thirty times by ten women.

You needed a date for Junior Prom.  If you didn’t get one, your friends would be out of your life forever.  You had never been on a date before and you weren’t quite sure how to get one.

You had tried all kinds of pick-up lines none seemed to work.  Should you try to start the conversation with a joke, you didn’t know.  Last time you ended up with a slap across the jaw.  Apparently you said something that she didn’t appreciate.  You ‘d have to find someone else to ask.

Then you caught a glimpse of “The One” out of the corner of your eye.  Luckily it was during the middle of a math lecture.  This gave you plenty of time to figure out what to say.  As soon as class was over you went up to her and said “W’sup princess.”  She just smiled and blushed.  Then you had no idea what else to say.  So, you slowly walked off embarrassed and ashamed. 

At lunch later that day you coincidently sat next to her.  She was so close you could hear her every breath.  You didn’t have the guts to ask her if she had been asked to the Prom so you asked one of your friends ask her.  He didn’t have the guts either so you had to ask her on your own.

Once again you had no idea what to say.  So you  “accidentally” spilled your milk in her lap.  She stood up and gave you the hardest left hook that you had ever felt.  Then you blurted out “I guess that means that you don’t want to go to Prom with me.”  Did you just say that out loud?  You suddenly turned bright red and wanted to run into a corner and cry.  Then disaster struck.  Someone tapped you on the shoulder so you turned around to see who it was.  It was the star linebacker for the high school football team.  You then realized that you had made a huge mistake by hitting on his girlfriend.  You tried to talk your way out of it by saying that spilling your milk was an accident.  It didn’t help. For the second time in one day you received the hardest left hook of your life.  This one knocked you out cold…

You woke up and found yourself hanging from a tree.  What could be worse than that?  Then you realized that you were hanging by your underwear.  Suddenly you heard a rip followed by the sound of your body smashing into the cold cement.  You then remembered that you had to walk home, battered and bruised.

As soon as you had gotten out of the shower a rapping came upon the door.  “The One” was standing on the porch.  As soon as you opened the door she gave you the best hug that you’d ever received.  She then proceeded to ask if you were okay.  “Yeah, I’m alright” you replied.

In a sexy tone of voice she said, “Good.  As soon as I found out what happened I dumped my boyfriend and rushed over to see if you were alright.”  So you decided to hit on her once again.  “Well, I’m doing okay but I’d feel a lot better if you would go to Prom with me.  You know, now that you don’t have a boyfriend and all.”  Your line must have worked.  At prom you were the luckiest man alive and at school you were the most popular guy.  A loser no more!