Anecdotes #4

She Didn’t Believe Me

When I was in the 7th Grade I read Jurassic Park by Michael Crichton and did a book report on it. My teacher questioned me about the book. She didn’t explain why she was questioning me but based on her questions I knew that she didn’t believe that I had read the book, and thought that I’d only seen the movie. On of the questions she asked it what happened to Hammond. You see in the book he is killed by pack of Procompsognathus, and in the movie he lives. Of course I’d read it so I was able to answer that question correctly.

My First Website

In the mid 90s the internet was new and search engines were just beginning to evolve. My friend Wes showed me this website he made, which was basically “Wes’ Cool Home Page” with some boring information about Wes on it. I realized that the internet needed to contain important information so I decided to make a website about the planet Jupiter because one of my friends was doing a paper on Jupiter. So I made a site on Geocities called the Official Jupiter Home Page. I ran into a problem making the site, though, I didn’t know anything about the planet, so I plagiarized the whole thing out of a Microsoft Encarta ’95 article by [[link: Reta F. Beebe]]. The website was pretty much the only one on Jupiter at the time so I got hundreds of thousands of views (and if you search for you can still find citations to it today!). I even monetized on it by putting a search box on it. I ended up making around $15.00. Eventually I got an email from some kid saying that they knew I had just copy and pasted Encarta’s article. I immediately took down the website, because I knew sooner or later someone at Microsoft might realize the same and ask me to take it down and preferred not to get that email.

The Most Boring Book

I signed up for AP English for 12th Grade, and for the summer between 11th and 12th Grade we were supposed to read Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte, so I did. It was the most boring book I ever read in my life and I fell asleep multiple times while reading it. A few weeks after school started I found myself failing the class. I transferred to the regular English class (not even honors). It was so much easier I called it “Retard English” (I feel bad about calling it that, but it was what it was), and because of that my reading of Jane Eyre had all been pointless.

Bad Employee

I was fired from my job as a grocery store bagger. I always like to tell people I got fired for sleeping on the salt bags when I was supposed to be doing carts. But really I never did that. The real reason I got fired was because I was supposed to say “Hi how are you doing?” to every single customer, but I didn’t like asking them that because the cashier had just asked them that and I didn’t want to annoy the customer, so I’d just say “Would you like paper or plastic.” They tried to correct me multiple times and I refused to do it. I also would not ask a man if he needed help out with the groceries I’d only ask women since I felt a man should be able to handle it himself. They tried to correct me on that but I refused to do it as well. That’s really why I got fired, I simply failed to do my job as instructed, and instead did it the way I thought was best. I was wrong. I was getting paid to do what they wanted, and I failed to do that. There was rumor’s of this one girl that got fired for making out with her boyfriend in the stock room. I wonder if that was true, or if it was the same deal as me sleeping on the salt bags.

Buying Diablo II

I was 16 when the game Diablo II came out, and the guy at the department store wouldn’t sell it to me because it was M rated (for gamers 17 and up). I went home and got my brother so he could buy it for me since he was a year older. Well when I went back the electronics department was not staffed so I took the game to a regular checkout stand and the girl there sold it to me with no questions asked since she didn’t know about video game ratings.